Much like day 19's theme of Acceptance, self forgiveness is important. Many of us have gone through experiences which have made us who we are but that we would never wish on another person. Sometimes, it is during these times in our life that we are only able to act in the way that we have known or in a way that is only as healthy as we are at that moment in time. Then, later in life, when we have adapted, become healthier and overcome, we are capable of changing our ways for the better. This is the time that we have to forgive ourselves for choices we made during the earlier times in our life when we were not healthy.
As healthy people, it is much easier to see clearly and make good choices that are nonviolent and help others to grow. When we are surrounded by violence with a feeling that we are not in control, we struggle to make those choices.
After I left my abusive marriage, I ended up in another abusive relationship. While I had healed enough to deal with the overt violence that my children and I experienced, I had not come to terms with the violence that was on an emotional level. Once I had worked through everything and discovered the pain that my children and I were in, I was able to make the choice to remove us from that situation also. Since then, I have never looked back. My children and I deserve healthy, whole relationships which can fill our lives. Relationships that tear people down are not good for any of the parties involved. While I understand it will take time for my son's to forgive me, I have learned to forgive myself for the pain and trauma inflicted on them. While I wish I could change my choices in the past, I know that dwelling on it does no good for anyone. Self forgiveness is an important step in healing and finding another way.
As healthy people, it is much easier to see clearly and make good choices that are nonviolent and help others to grow. When we are surrounded by violence with a feeling that we are not in control, we struggle to make those choices.
After I left my abusive marriage, I ended up in another abusive relationship. While I had healed enough to deal with the overt violence that my children and I experienced, I had not come to terms with the violence that was on an emotional level. Once I had worked through everything and discovered the pain that my children and I were in, I was able to make the choice to remove us from that situation also. Since then, I have never looked back. My children and I deserve healthy, whole relationships which can fill our lives. Relationships that tear people down are not good for any of the parties involved. While I understand it will take time for my son's to forgive me, I have learned to forgive myself for the pain and trauma inflicted on them. While I wish I could change my choices in the past, I know that dwelling on it does no good for anyone. Self forgiveness is an important step in healing and finding another way.